#kets kerfuffle

[ketyoulater]

[queers-ahoy]

ket's 2023 favorite fanfiction reads!

here ye here ye! come one come all to hear about my Favorite Fics of 2023! A surprising number of these aren't even complete, but isn't that just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. I highly recommend all of these, completed or not! Most are Gentlebeard, but the last two are little wildcards! Fics that had their word count marked with an asterisk are incomplete.

Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise | E | 209k*

A charming and thrilling AU set in San Francisco in 1978. Ed, a career drug dealer, meets Stede during a music festival after getting drugged by his office co-workers. They become intertwined in a relationship that puts both of them in new territory. I think my favorite part of this fic is all of the music and fashion references, as well as how all the crew members (and others!) are woven into the story. All the side relationships are adorable, and Stede and Mary have an ADORABLE friendship that I can't get enough of.

2. In Favor With Their Stars by @mxmollusca | M | ~62k

This fic was my introduction to sci-fi AUs in this fandom! It's a gripping story that follows Ed, an engineer who finds himself awoken early from cryostasis on an "interplanetary research vessel" travelling to Jupiter's moon, Europa. Ed soon discovers that the ship's artificial intelligence, STE/DE, is likely sentient. Chaos and love ensues as they spend several months together, flying through the void. This story is uniquely multi-media, told through prose, code, poetry, audio transcripts, and even music!

3. Famine and Feast by zemph147 (@gaypiratebrainrot) | E | ~19k

This fic is a HILARIOUS and fascinating modern AU where Ed is the owner and head chef of his fine dining restaurant, Blackbeard. He finds himself full of renewed passion for his craft after tasting the menu of The Revenge, a new food truck owned by one Stede Bonnet. As someone who works in a kitchen and LOVES any media about food, this fic really indulged me. The description of every dish had my mouth watering!

4. Kalahari Down by @oatmilktruther | E | 31k*

Kalahari Down is a wild and stylized fic, written from Ed's pov as a 19 year old rancher working in Montana on Bonnet Ranch. When Stede returns home from boarding school, the two boys find themselves whipped up into a Brokeback Mountain-esque romance. However, canon-typical miscommunications make their journey a rocky one. This fic is INSANE in the way that it's written, and absolutely must be read in a southern accent (or at least, that's how I have to read it in my head :3). The series is smartly inspired by the eponymous album by Orville Peck, Bronco. Each chapter takes the name of a song written by him, and the vibes certainly shine through. It's hard to say since it's yet to be completed, but it's certainly lining up to be one of my favorite ofmd fics of all time.

5. Fine Wires by Nospaceforjack, ThePirateRoo | E | ~114k

Set in London, 1887, this fic follows the meeting of Blackbeard, the infamous burglar, and The Gentleman Thief, new to a life of crime. The two men are quickly charmed by each other, but their relationship becomes caught in the clutches of the law chasing them as well as Stede's need to prove himself. This story is charming in aesthetic, originally an AMAU, and is told through collages of images, letters, composed ambient music, as well as prose. The setting really comes to life with the mixture of multimedia content along with amazing description.

6. Liquid Gold by @perkynurples | M | ~79k

This is another modern AU that was originally an SMAU! Stede returns to his family's summer home in following his divorce from Mary in an attempt to reconnect with himself. He takes to beekeeping, a hobby his mother enjoyed in his youth, and it soon connects him to resident beekeeper, Edward Teach. They become swept into a honey sweet relationship where they uncover more mysteries than they ever expected to. This fic is ADORABLE as much as it is captivating, and as a beekeeper myself, this fic holds a special place in my heart <3

7. not pickles by smallestchurch | E | ~83k

Yay another modern AU! This one is an Ed pov, and really focuses on Ed's progression through his mental health struggles and such. Ed and Stede live in the same apartment building, and Ed finds himself pulled into Stede's adorable family, whether he likes it or not (he does). There's plenty of adorable Alma/Louis content in this one, and Ed is no surprise GREAT with kids. It's heartwarming, gut-wrenching, and tear-jerking all in one! Total triple threat.

8. the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh (@forpiratereasons) | E | ~35k*

This is a post-s1 canon fix-it fic that is just SWARMING with all kinds of delicious angst. After Stede fights to reunite with Ed, he finds that healing their relationship won't be nearly as easy as the gut wound he's given when he tries. This fic alternates pov, but I'm especially entranced by the way Ed is written in particular. This fic hasn't been updated in a while, but the author told me that they hope to complete it eventually! Finished or not, it's a great read.

9. if i was pure, you know i would by bitethehands | E | ~2k

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat! This fic is a delicious body horror one-shot where Izzy is immortal and Kraken era Blackbeard finds that *fascinating.* It's gruesome and horrifying and so well-written.

10. bend over, doll (it's all a game) by Sweveris | E | ~91k

Modern AU with a sick twist! Edward is the leader of a crime ring and married to Stede Bonnet. Ed is quick to discover that his husband is less than faithful, but decides to play along for a while, just to see where it goes. Everyone in this fic is TERRIBLE and it's AMAZING. I usually hate fics with Calico Jack in them, but somehow this one coaxed me into reading full chapters from his pov. There's also some really yummy Stizzy content that simmers throughout.

//And that's that! I have plenty of honorable mentions that I'll probably add soon, especially if people want more recommendations! Happy New Year, and here's to many lovely fics in 2024!

[ketyoulater]

When I was a child I had a weird habit of putting coins in my mouth (gross, I know). One day I suddenly convinced myself that I had accidentally swallowed an entire penny. Had one of those weird feelings in my chest like something was stuck right before my stomach. I was convincing enough about it that my parents took me all the way to the ER, we sat and waited for hours, they did a whole x-ray just to find no penny at all. Anyway now I have diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[ketyoulater]

Every poll I've seen in the last 6 hours

[ketyoulater]

I wish Tumblr was like official documents or academic papers where you are required to write out the acronym fully at least once before you can continue using the acronym

[ketyoulater]

guess what movie I just watched?

[ketyoulater]

Does no one else suffer from the constant crushing weight of the grief over every person you once loved and no longer speak to? We're all just expected to be normal about that?

[ketyoulater]

What "embarrassing" media do you love? I'll start, I am about as feral about the Frozen movies as a 6 year old child

[ketyoulater]

somehow it took me 22 years to realize that i experience pmdd horribly every fucking menstrual cycle, i genuinely didn't even know it was a thing until recently i feel failed by my health class once again.

[ketyoulater]

imitation crab is the string cheese of the sea

[ketyoulater]

Tumblr is so fucking dead. Genuinely these days I will often get ads that straight up just crash the app when I scroll past them! I'll scroll past an ad and either 1. It plays sound without a mute button 2. It lags the app for like 20 seconds after I scroll past it or 3. It straight up crashes my app. I've started getting ads too that fuck up or crash the app that I can't. Even. Fucking. Report!!!! They don't have a report button! The website experience is so much better but I also use mobile a lot idk... Fuck Tumblr if you're gonna give me shit ass ads at least make sure they don't make your app literally unusable.

[ketyoulater]

cranks it up to 60rpm

sits down and rotates you in my mind for a while

[ketyoulater]

Shout out to the kind man who gave me my Oreo Mcflurry today even though I forgot my wallet and only had like $2.80 in change floating around my car T^T he was so NICE told me "we'll figure it out" with a smile

[ketyoulater]

doing hot dyke activities

[ketyoulater]

Pvp is definitely enabled in college dorms. The sheer tension evoked when you enter a communal bathroom occupied by other people? Just kill me

i want to give mojang a shoutout for creating a game that will literally tolerate any amount of abuse thrown at it

[ketyoulater]

my friend sketched me and gave me silly little tboy scruff and i wanna !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in real life about it